By Shannon McRae, Ph.D., Well Being Journal, Vol. 22, No. 6.
A Personal Example: One of my clients recently pushed my boundaries. I needed to tell her that I was no longer going to work with her. She did not follow my instructions, including my advice to have a medical doctor look at her gall bladder. She also sends long voice mails to me with lengthy descriptions of her conditions, explanations of why she won’t do what I advise, and extensive directives about how I should do my work and what I should do for her. I had been avoiding her voice mails because I knew there would be more if I responded. I had been trying not to say “no” to her, until I realized it was causing me anxiety. At that point, I realized I needed to make the decision to no longer work with her.
I am very aware when I start to feel upset. As soon as I made the decision to stop working with this client, I felt free—free of resistance to the natural flow of well-being. I didn’t worry about my client’s reaction because I knew it was in both of our best interests to discontinue working together.
I get a lot of new clients who expect me to work Saturdays and Sundays, not understanding that I need this time to rest and restore myself in order to be of help. Once in awhile, I do make an exception, but it isn’t based on my inability to say “no.” Saying “no” to others does them no harm. It allows them the space to explore other ways of handling their lives.
Not Wanting to See Something
Another regular client presented me with some new information one session. She works full time and is starting her own business. She said she thought needed to go to a different massage therapist. She also disclosed her eyes were getting worse. She wondered if it was because she didn’t want to see something.
I asked her what she meant, and she replied that she didn’t feel like going to this massage therapist anymore but wanted to avoid hurting her feelings. She said she didn’t like the looks of the therapist. So I asked her if she thought her worsening eyesight had anything to do with not wanting to look at her massage therapist, because I sensed strongly that this was what was causing her eye difficulties. She said, “Well, maybe.”
“Why then,” I questioned, “don’t you look for another therapist?” She said she’d not thought of that idea. I then asked her if she had another appointment with the massage therapist, which she did. I suggested she cancel the appointment and see someone else. She told me that her cancellation might make her therapist feel bad.
Here’s another case of a client who didn’t want to say “no,” but what she didn’t want to say “no” to was adversely affecting her health. I asked her how she felt about someone working on her body whose appearance bothered her. She said, “I never thought about that.” Then, I asked her again, “Do you think that has anything to do with your eyesight getting worse?” At this point, she had an “aha” moment, and said, “Oh, I get it now.”
Shannon McRae, Ph.D., is a medical intuitive and energy healer; she can be reached at 1-775-315-7232.